Read Along: Pride & Prejudice - Chapter 1

Okay so now I'm really doing this and I don't actually know where to start. Apart from at the beginning, obviously. So when I studied this book at school I ended up knowing the whole first chapter off by heart but I did copy and paste this because typing it out would be boring and I am not sure I'd get all the punctuation right.

So here we are with Chapter 1 of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. As I mentioned in the introduction the whole text of Chapter 1 is here (if you notice anything I've accidentally deleted let me know - it should just be all here) so if you've never read (or haven't recently read) the book you're not missing anything even if you have your own copy :)

Chapter 1

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. 

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

I guess the reason that it's funny is because obviously when they get married the daughters become the property hurdy hur.

"My dear Mr. Bennet," said his lady to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?" 

Mr. Bennet replied that he had not. 

"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it." 

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

So Mr and Mrs Bennet begin the novel by annoying each other (they'll do that a lot). My favourite part is where Mr Bennet just ignores her because she's talking about what Mrs Long said and Mr Bennet just doesn't care about what Mrs Long says.

"Do you not want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife impatiently.

"You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it." 

This was invitation enough. 

"Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it, that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week."

 Wikipedia tells me that Michaelmas is on 29 September so we're... sometime before that I guess? So when I look up 'chaise and four' on google there is a lot of people referencing this exact paragraph and asking what it means (it's a small carriage with four horses, in case you were wondering). I think we'll have that problem quite a bit.

"What is his name?""Bingley.""Is he married or single?""Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!"

Mrs Bennet is all WHY WOULD I TELL YOU ABOUT HIM IF HE WAS MARRIED, SILLY.

"How so? How can it affect them?" 

"My dear Mr. Bennet," replied his wife, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them." 

"Is that his design in settling here?" 

"Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes."  

Is it even possible to read this dialogue without imagining Alison Steadman and Benjamin Whitrow? Not for me. Actually I pretty much read all the dialogue in the voices of the actors from the 1995 BBC adaption. NEVER MIND.

"I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley may like you the best of the party."

"My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown-up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty." 

"In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of."

 Aw Mr Bennet still thinks Mrs Bennet is pretty :) Or maybe he's just being ironic again/still. I like to think that he actually is genuinely saying that Mrs Bennet is as good looking as her daughters because it makes me feel less sad about them being married to each other.

"But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood." 

"It is more than I engage for, I assure you." 

"But consider your daughters. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know, they visit no newcomers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him if you do not."

I actually find it a bit hard to believe that Sir William just ignores all his neighbours that aren't single dudes that might marry one of his daughters. I know Lady Lucas is not all that well so I can see maybe she doesn't bother but Sir William? Remind me about this when we get to a description of him later.

"You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying whichever he chooses of the girls; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzy."

Mr Bennet is suggesting something pretty ridiculous here, clearly. He reminds me of the ridiculous conversations I have with my husband where we have totally deadpan conversations about super-weird things. Anyway what he's saying is SUPER WEIRD. Of course the "normal" behaviour here where the menfolk have to visit each other before the women can be introduced to them is also SUPER WEIRD to me because apparently things have changed a fair bit in the last 200 years?

"I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good-humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference." 

"They have none of them much to recommend them," replied he; "they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters." 

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves." 

"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least." 

"Ah, you do not know what I suffer." 

"But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood." 

"It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them.""Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all." 

Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.

So basically "Mr Bennet was so WEIRD AND ANNOYING that even after 23 years he still repeatedly confused Mrs Bennet. Because she was cranky and stupid." I am torn between feeling sorry for Mr Bennet because his wife is silly and annoying and doesn't grok his sense of humour... and being cross at him for being a jerk. Well no that's not true - I'm not actually torn. Mostly I want to high five Mr Bennet all over the place for being hilarious and I feel bad about that because he's frequently being a bit of a jerk.

So that's Chapter One! 60 Chapters to go! Comment about anything else you found interesting! Let me know how frequently you'd like these to come out (I can't promise anything as obviously it depends how frequently I can do them).